It's 10:31pm when I just felt called to pick up my pen.

This is my first essay just directly for substack. Maybe my first maybe my last - I don't know but the last few days I hasn't left my mind. The desire to write here and substack.

Substack to me how I see it is elite writers in my perspective, anyway. It's where I come to witness words and essays that speak directly to me, to the depths of me as a woman, my body, my Eros and the Divine Feminine.

This is the place I find depth and comfort when in the wintertime -particularly January, February when experiencing burn out. My body on a daily basis- telling me to rest, I couldn't find anyone around me that understand what I was feeling in my body - only here.

The call to retreat, to replenish to, slow down because I had nothing else to give.

The world of productivity, the world of the patriarchy creates "productivity makes you worthy". I bought into that for so long, that belief for so long consumed me.

Just this winter of 2026 I had experienced this battle of the body vs the mind, productivity Vs rest.

I've reflected years previously and the amount of times I experienced burn out before I even know what I even knew what it was !

In 2023, when I first began to walk the path of the feminine, that's when the battle first began.

The feminine is the body. The inner world, it's not about proving your worthy by your actions, by your discipline, by your productivity.

The feminine wants us to slow down return to our natural rhythms of cycles.

But when we constantly override the feminine, override our bodies, our natural cyclical nature - once the path of the feminine awakens, the body calls, and she rumbles, she roars, until you listen.

And just on time, as I have been in a 12th house profection year in astrology at the age of 35.

I write this essay 12 days away from my 36th birthday and just before I complete a 12 years cycle and a new cycle begins.

A profection year in astrology for anyone that doesn't know, is a timing technique us by the ancients.

Each year of our lives, are linked to a specific astrogical house (an area of life).

0 is 1st house.

1 years old is 2nd house.

2 years old is 3rd house.

3 years old is 4th house.

4 years old is 5th house.

5 years old is 6th house.

6 years old is 7th house.

7 years old is 8th house.

8 years old is 9th house.

9 years old is 10th house.

10 years old is 11th house.

11 years old is 12th house.

And then it repeats, as a new cycle from 12 years old enters into our first house.

See image below to see your age and what profection year, you're having.

The 12th house in astrology is the final ending before a new beginning -but it comes with a lot of baggage and a lot of karma that needs cleaning up.

So as you can imagine, it's not very comfortable.

Plus I have my south node in the 12 house in whole signs so it's a double wammy of karrmic clearing for me.

I say yay sarcastically - while I reminise on the past nearly 12 months and all the karma I had to address. Subconscious beliefs, all the letting go.

So when the 12 house completes, I'm walking out of this cosmic womb into a fresh new beginning with people, places and things that are not a part of the new cycle, left in the past.

Now you're probably asking, where have you come up with this with the most erotic thing to do is sleep as the title?

Well the 12th house is all about retreat, rest and sleep coming into the cosmic womb, so you can replenish after the previous 11 years.

I also have Leo, as the ruler of my 12 house. Leo is to sign or Eros, of life force, of creativity and one of the fixed sign- which are erotic in their nature.

I've been thinking a lot about erotic.

What makes something erotic?

When we think of what does erotic means to us, most of us turn to what turns us on sexually.

But the erotic or Eros isn't just about sex- it's about aliveness and presence!

The aliveness we feel when we're experiencing pleasure, but also the aliveness of experiencing pain.

Their aliveness of experience life when joy hits but also the aliveness of death and grief.

But we tend to assume erotic is what feels good, but think about a painful time in your life- yes uncomfortable. But at the end of the pain when the cycle finishes, it opens you up to more life and not just after but during.

Pain that you may have never imagined possible pain you never imagined a human could feel- that's Eros right there.

This title came to me yesterday as I was doing my morning embodiment practises.

For me, it's just a reminder that sleep returns you back to life.

It has a power to bring your life force and your creativity back each morning- your aliveness returns- if you received enough sleep!

There are times in our lives that call us back to a retreat, to sleep- so that we can heal and replenish years of neglect overriding our bodies, our needs, in the name of productivity, of being of service, of being a human in this world that has been conditioned to believe to neglect the body.

And this essay is a little note to self and if you're reading to celebrate sleep.

Nap, rest, sleep in late. Listen to your body- when it says "i'm tired" , over your mind, or worse someone else !

So this is my first love letter to my readers.

If anyone reads this- Thank you!

If you take anything from this, it's to get more sleep your body needs it !

As I put the pen down now, I'm praying I fall asleep now that my channel is clear.

Dominiquèa

Say yes to anything anybody wants.

Never say no.

Say yes to working with anyone- you better be fucking grateful that anyone even wants to work with you!You need to follow the crowd, follow the rule book- yeno the Instagram algorithm, the business rules that created success for everyone else.

Don't do anything differently.

Don't be bold.

Don't be brave.

Shrink to make others comfortable.

Stay small, stay in your lane- don't disrupt anything.

Don't share your Genius.

If you want to change something, do something differently, you need outside permission.

That's the message us women get everyday and particularly in business.

This are internal feelings I was feeling the last few days in my body until I moved through them triggered by a potential client asking for a service that I don't offer but said yes to.

Not going to lie I meditated, but wasn't in my body when I answered- I don't know my hand from me arse when I'm not in my body!

There was a part of me thinking awe this could lead to something else, but also questioning was this a test from Goddess herself to see would I stick to my big vision or continue to play small. This isn't the first time this has happened.

Spoiler I didn't stick to my vision of my business and offers or the vision I have for the clients I choose to work with.

I won't say that I failed because It's given me the permission slip to do it my way!

Because guess what if something or someone is misaligned with your vision whether you say yes or no - it's not going to work out.

You get to offer what you want to, price how you want to, say what you want to- you get to do you and shout it from the fucking roof tops in whatever way that looks for you.

This got me thinking so much about discernment about who we let into our field as clients, because we don't have to accept just everyone no matter what you've been told- you have a choice!